You have to let go of what you wanted. You have to get in the water.
You have to allow yourself to be healed, and surrender that the plan set forth is better than your own- even if you see formulas in dreams that argue otherwise. This place is medicine and you swallow it bitterly and demand for a different kind of taste, demand for a different sickness entirely. If only I were someone else I whisper, but I don’t dare say this out loud. I know it is all in my head.
Leave the room. Get in the water.